The Lost Art of Words

The world, my world is topsy-turvy that is to say the least. Like most men who have lost much of their ways and ideas that define what the world means to them. I try, I try to both live and define what that is all that is all around me. In this vagueness is my salvation, so I fear I will find. Such damnation like the unlucky stars that burn up in a streak, I fear for my life to be such haphazard ordeal. Aimlessly I wander from existential crisis to consequential crisis, consequential to moral and from moral to back. Crisis after crisis I jump like a well-trained and ill-brained dog that knows not what to do but what it is taught to do.

Feeble is my heart so is my wantonness. Feeble is my thought and the grip that holds my pen. Flows not words but blood strained utterances, feeble cacophonous mutterings. Effortless fluency has ceased to be and in its place has risen a dauding emptiness, an exonerated decadence of mental faculty. Confused and intoxicated, devalued and misguided, all the stark reminders of a lost art and it’s ever the more lost artist.

A search into the dungeons of my soul is all I can. Searching for a muse that might still be wandering in it's dark alley ways. Lost in the catacomb of lost memories, some forgotten some deliberately wished away, slowly feeling and tumbling his way there about. There in its moss ridden walls I might find the old words that in an ungodly fervour I scratched ages ago. Neither do I have that fervour nor it's feeble descendants, all that were lost. In this age of impatient discoveries all that is left is hope, life’s one last beacon to desperately cling on to.

The Many Dreams of You and Me

Every single night its in your dreams that I cherish, in the long voyages that we take through uncharted waters, in the beautiful strolls through gardens and boulevards from very pricey magazine pages. The colours and the emotions that we share and cherish are truly remarkable. Though I expect nothing less from a beautiful dream, you’re here presence makes it unimaginable magnificent. Dreams that I have are all so wonderful so are the ones I believe you have, but the ones we share like our heart and our soul are sure to be unworldly.

Its been a couple of years since I met her, I still remember it be on a very ordinary day in a very ordinary chemistry lab, She came and stood next to me , she turned and she gave a smile that told me that we are meant to be. But the blind idiot I was made sure that nothing happened for the many days to come. It was certainly not the first time we have seen. Studying in same class seeing would not have been a problem. As days went on and on, our hearts grew closer and closer, the cold winters made us come close in search of warmth and the sizzling showers in envy, the scorching summer in search of shades and finally the spring in search of love. 

I do know that every one tells it, but I promise you this that what I tell is the truth and nothing but the truth. I do believe with all my heart that I knew her way before the first time I  laid eyes on her petite being. I assure you I have enjoyed the taste of her delicate throbbing lips way before in generations unknown to me. Her being is not strange, not any stranger than that of myself. May be this is what they call 'LOVE', may be this is how being in love is, If it is so and this is what I get from being in love and being loved, then I require the warmth of no stranger bosom than that of beloved one.

When she walked into my life at the time of great crisis, A time when I have had lost faith in all the worlds love, I trusted no one not even god for that matter, sinking into the depths of despair, alas! those were the dark days. Her touch was the guiding light that led me ashore, when romantic voyages after voyages failed and I was no better than a sinking soul. I am no great lover but at the moments I despise myself I keep telling my wounded soul, its not all that wounded. But much latter only I realised that had I not made those mistakes I would never have been able to see the right things, when it appeared before me. Had I not seen the darkness and experienced the piercing thrones I would never have realised it when I saw the rose bloom before my very eyes. Love does happen but so is it a search, it’s a special journey like none other, it will show you what that is that rightfully belongs to you and you rightfully belong to.

I am no great lover and mess up a little a lot of times, but I have done no such thing that by which I had betrayed her. It weights down my neck a duty to remain faithful. I know that a girl like her deserves much more and what I have is too pure to be in such dirty hands. But I see no reason to let go, call it lust call it selfishness, for she is mine and I indent to keep it that way for eternities to come. I do wait for the days that are ours to live, and the dreams that we share are ours to realise.

-          A tribute to my other half.

 " You have taught me love and how to love, in your hands i blossomed and in your love I grew and in you arms I wish to die"

Love: A Search for Meanings

Love is still as strange to me as it has always been, in my many pursuits to understand it; I have only succeeded in failing again and again. There was a time that the very search for its meanings made me tangle myself in thoughts, so strange that I myself wonder how I ended up brewing these thoughts in my mind. Strange as it may be, I still search for its meanings, even when it had cost me many a things.

In and out, I went of many relationships. Some were a ship wreck from the very beginning while others just went in through a series of unexplainable and unfortunate events before it could finally settle itself into a sense of awkwardness. But, believe me when I say, ‘ Every one of those relations were a lesson learned’. I should also admit that some lessons were much more than what I could have ever bargained for. The sense of tarnish and humiliation that was inevitable, even when I have done it all to keep it afloat, now that’s a wee bit uncomforting.

I beg pardon from all the ladies that had to read these words, and I do accept that not all the women are of the nature I may be discussing. I would also assure you that I have always thought highly of women, but these are a few that I had to face in my small life. There were quite a few women in my life that had come at me in ways that I myself could have never envisioned. The fact is they had in me vested interested that either I have not seen or have cunningly enough hid from my eyes. I have to say this that second one was of higher probabilities. The way those things turned out were particularly humiliating for me for one simple fact, they were not of my doings.

Those were events good enough to make any reasonable man lose faith in love and I do consider myself a reasonable man indeed. The real thing I had no more trust in anyone any more. All that I loved turned out to be more of a wreck and less of any help. The one factor was common, the one thing I could no longer find in any of romantic relationships were ‘Romance’.

Magic do happen when we are least expecting it and it did itself to me. It took me over a dozen years and a couple dozen relationships before I could see it. There it was in all its glory presenting itself to me, an offering from the gods. May be the heavens had enough of my little whining that they finally decided to show me the way. There was a  new day break and there was this girl nothing special , nothing profound, simple and natural. I will tell you made her special, it was not me and it was not love, There do exist a thing called a good heart and I could see one for the first time. She touched me in a way none has ever had, her touch was not of lust nor licentious, but it was of care and it was of sincerity and guess what I was in love again and I still am.

It would be a lie if I say I have not thought of any other girl since her, but this is true no matter whom I saw and whom I fancied and the end of the day she was the one whom I wanted to go back to. She was the only one whom I would care to care about, other were just beautiful to watch but she was beautiful to live with. And hence here I am happily committed and no longer in futile searches of meanings of this that I now believe are meant not to be understood but to be experienced.

Discovery of Passion Within !

                         There are times in one mans life when he actually does things for himself, There are things that are done because they give you sheer joy. There are time when it is passion that drives you. These are the times when your work starts talking by themselves. All of a sudden you have a master piece sitting right in front of you that you never ever realized or believed you could create and you do certainly doubt creating one ever again. We all do have our moments. But the real problem seems to be recreating them.

                         To have our little "eureka" moments time and again is a tremendous feat or so our belief, actually it is not!. It is very possible that we can continue to create master pieces one after the other, as if they were coming out of a production line. How to do it ?. Now that's a very reasonable question to ask. A straight forward and obvious question, but the answer seems largely vague. To hit the target once is one thing, but to hit it consistently is an entirely different matter. But if are able to strike the right note every once in a while then with a little bit of dedicated soul searching , One can discover the musician in himself. To be able to discover it requires effort and a great deal of planning as well.

                          I have no interest what so ever in making this sound like a herculean task, because it is not . It is rather simple and very naive. All you have to do is believe, believe that you can do it and your problems are solved. Let me guess! you are not impressed. Now, that is the real problem. Even when the way is clear it is not always easy to follow the road, The problems faced in execution are two. A little starting trouble or way too much distractions.



                          To get you started is the most fundamental part of any venture, So is it to discovering your passion. You are reaching no where if you never get started. The fundamental part is to get the belief that you can do it. Once the stone gets rolling it will keep on doing so. But even before starting on the journey one should identify what is it that he intends to attain from the journey. If you are sure of the goals you  are sure to get them, One definitely need to be doing something that he thinks he is passionate about. Trying to unlock the passion for something that one considers to be mundane is mundane.

                          Select your task and prepare oneself to be amazed ones on deeds. Unlock all the courage that have been mustered up for this and get going. be daringly innovative and how can one do that, just don't keep any of your fabulous ides to oneself as you can never be sure which of your "foolish" idea is going to be the global trend setter tomorrow. To passion will unlock and release itself once one has the belief in oneself and  is doing what he is passionate about.

                          See a dancer or a singer perform , observe they do it for the love of the thing they do . no body is forcing on them then they are able to tap into the potential locked deep inside them. They have discovered the way to it, for them it is their art. so shall one discover the passion in the things they do for themselves.

                          Anyone and everyone can perform great feats, they are capable of miraculous things. Once aware of ones true potential and capability and confident of it great work can be done. Just most people are born , live and eventually die unaware of what they are capable of, what they could have achieved. They end up believing that all great men are born different. Of course, they are different, Its not that they are born different, they think different, believe different and see different. They are everything that everyone are capable of, but had failed to realize their potential or have given up long before they stared trying.

                          Humans are great species capable species. All of us are part of this magnificent creation of god and are capable in equal quantities. All is that one should hear their true calling and be bold enough to chase their dreams. Life is short and life is great. Waste it not Live it .