Sunday, 24 June 2012

Wet with Tears





I just finished reading Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch albom and if you have had read it once then maybe; just maybe you would know why I have titled my post so. The truth is that I have not cried so much, at least not produced so much tears by volume in the last several years. This book undeniably has struck a few chords with me. I was weeping thru the life Morrie Schartz and I honestly have no idea why and I believe may be writing this would fetch me an answer. This is just another of my aimless self-inquests.


When Morrie battled it out triumphantly with ALS and died a serene death that many among us desperately dream about, his left many a men bewildered at its blatant simplicity. It may forever remain the enigmas of life, the secret of self-discovery and salvation.  It occurred to me I am a sad example for any form life, no real purpose, no real dreams and certainly no real ambitions and the worst of all the ugly fact that I am doing nothing about it.


There are three kinds of people in this world. Firstly the ones who knows what he wants and does what must be done,  secondly the ones who have no idea about it and hence does nothing whatsoever about it. These two I believe must be happy at all points in their life, for the first are a contend lot and the second bask in evanescence of ignorance and hitherto has nothing to y and a worry about. But sadly I belong to a third group of troubled, lonesome, frustrated mob, the ones that what they wants and does nothing about it and hence settles themselves to self-pity and a life full of discontent and emptiness. May be it made me realize the emptiness inside of me and that’s why I cried, maybe I cried because I know what I wanted to be and just realized that I was nothing that I promised myself I will be.


Mitch talks about a lot in the 200 pages that the book really is, there was so much love, compassion and gratitude. These things touch your heart no matter in what colour and brand they come in. The truth about life is simple, we crave love and we crave it with all our heart. It is to the soul what fresh air is to the body, we thrive on it and when we don’t get enough we suffocate and our soul perishes. I quote from a recent movie “make sure when the final buzzer goes off on your life BHeeeeee you have no regrets”. I makes me think, How many of us can really say that if this very moment as I am writing these words and you are reading these we die,  we would have no regrets. Not me! I could very well haunt the attic of my own house due to the sheer volume of unfinished business that’s left. May be it’s the realization that made me cry like a new born.


Or maybe it’s just a sign that I am still human and I have that small bit of humanity left forgotten in some deep corner of my institutionalized heart. It always occurred to me that this was one good excuse or reason however you may take it to provide for my momentary lapses and occasional tryst with reality. Many a times I have took shelter under this roof and I see no reason why not today, why not now.

There is one more reason for the profound volatility that I experience now emotionally, the fact that life is short and succinct is not one that I am unfamiliar with but the truth is that I dawns on me time and time again and leaves me in a kind of a emotional upheaval.


I end now for I have no more to say!


PS: I don’t know why I wrote this, I felt a need to. I not know what I meant by it, I just went by my heart. The truth is my emotions are as mixed up as the post is forgive me! guide me!