In the many things that we prefer not to say for
obvious reasons remains for obvious reasons the fundamental building block to
solving our many a million problems. It sounds so obvious doesn't it; keep your
mouth shut and no more problems. It ought to be that simple yet we find it
increasingly difficult to keep our mouth shut, don't we. The truth and trick is
to know when to keep it shut and when to shout aloud. The particular thing
about life is that it is not whether we fight or not, fighting is fundamental
to marriage as sex, to borrow the idea of Jon fighting is instantaneous,
creative and deeply personal, in fact everything that sex ought to be. The
trick is not to over do it, know when to stop and know what not to tell. Like
any fair fights you win some you lose some, and isn't the reason for the fight
not to break up. It serves as a excellent opportunity to let out the steam and
make you calm down.
Every fights is a potential treat, you could
convince yourself that your fights are just that the normal average household
is used to. But the unfortunate truth is there is no simple fight, in every
fight lies the indomitable ability to develop into something formidable,
something that could wreck your household. Every fight requires the active care
of both persons involved to prevent it from developing into anything more than
what it is now. A fight is always volatile and ever so tempting.
Every time you are presented with the option to
win, but at what cost it comes is a matter of great concern. Would you want to
say something sinister and unforgivable and win or would you want to bow out
like a gentleman in the true sense of the word and preserve what you have. It
often bothers me whether winning is worth it, why do one ever have to win to
win a domestic fight, i ask myself Wouldn't i be happier to just lose and have
my family than celebrate my victory as someone else very dear to me lies
shattered. Isn't it her loss my loss and isn't her victory just as mine as it
is hers. Yet at every fight it seems just as different a story as it possibly
can, the spontaneous and explosive creativeness and the intense emotional and
personal involvement leaves but little room for a thoughtful fight. But one
thing is certain before you say anything too much you are sure to choke and it
sure is going to get caught in your throat, that's when you ought to decide
whether to say something you are sure to choke on, at the heat of the moment.
Its always uptown you to decide and the question always remain.
To say or not to say.
So true...but winning has become so important sometimes we don't care whether we're hurting the other person and making things worse in the process.
ReplyDeleteYes so true rad! in the pursuit of success people so blatantly forget the ones they hurt.
ReplyDeleteIrrefutable logic. But as you say, in the heat of the moment one is so angry (read hurt) out goes logic. The desire to lash out is uppermost. Someone was saying that using "I" instead of "You" statements helps e.g. "I find it hurtful" instead of "you hurt me". If only I could remember that when I'm in the middle of a fight!
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