I just wanted them to ask

I just wanted them to ask,

Not bother and bask,

I just wanted them to care,

That is only obvious and fare.

I asked not for a sonnet and a song,

Nor for pretty things to sing along.

All I asked for was love,

And none is what I got till now.

I asked not was cages of gold,

But the tight grip of your hold.

I want not the glitter of your smile,

But for you to be not apart a mile.

I asked not for divine embellishments,

But for wet trace of your rosy armaments.

The love is dead, that I know,

But life that is mine is being lost in snow.

In white and in black you tread,

In things you say are far important than the bread.

Care, do you really?

Love, hope you could see fairly.

Such is the loss that I dearly know,

That it is so much for me to let go.

Love me, care for me I beg,

It won’t cost you an arm or a leg.

I just wanted them to ask,

Not bother and bask,

I just wanted them to care,

That is only obvious and fare.

This is for D, who was pestering me lot to make a poem happen! So here it is , I fulfilled my promise :D

Chasing Liberty

The idea of liberty and freedom has always been more than just words to our years, we have had undergone a grueling struggle to claim what we call our freedom. Enrich Freud, an eminent psychoanalyst points out that humanity always had a quest fro freedom but often it were  reduced to nothing but replacing an archaic system of suppression with a later model. The continuous changes in governance and  theosophical societies has played the major role in what is that we call freedom. As mush as I agree with him on this point I disagree to the same degree with his views. I know that could very well be called double standards but after all for us Freedom , Liberty and democracy are more than just words.

All men are born free, but everywhere they are in chains

                                    -Jean Jacques Rousseau

The idea of liberty and our chasing behind it is there in the very fabric of our existence. As Rousseau  invariably pointed out all most all men are born into chains though by entitlement they deserve none, they are born into the chains of society, the chains of relations, the chains of hypocrisy and the very chains of existence. Though one may argue that some chains are rather light and essential for a social being, I would like to point out that nevertheless they are chains and further more an encroachment on ones freedom.  However light the chains may be, however indistinguishable the reins may be, they are by all degree an hurdle in the quest for absolute freedom.

Absolute freedom mocks at justice. Absolute justice denies freedom.

                                                                                                                                - Albert Camus

The absolute freedom is as volatile a thing as anything can ever be. When a freedom so absolute arrives and is exercised in its purest form, wouldn't ones freedom be just another encroachment on another's, wouldn't one's freedom be a hindrance to another's. These questions pose an obvious answer, it certainly would. if you are still unclear on that let me put it with a light example out here. if my freedom allows me to kill somebody as it should as it is being purely nonrestrictive to me then that becomes an encroachment one that persons freedom to live with out any fear or danger whom I am to kill to exercise my freedom. That must simply make it clear that our quest for absolute freedom will never be quenched as there can never exist an ideal concept of absolute freedom that is exercised universal and without discrimination. 

Then what are we hunting when we are hunting for freedom? what really is freedom? is it an ability to do what ever we please when ever we please to do so? It is not! Freedom in its ideal form is just an act of balance where one can do what he pleases as long as he is never incriminating another's right to do what that persons feels to do. Freedom sure is a strange idea, so is Liberty. I would never talk of democracy as an idea as strong as an idea as liberty or freedom. Democracy is just another "cracy", much like autocracy, theocracy and so on. 

The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time.

                                                                                                                - Thomas Jefferson

But Liberty and Freedom are profound ideas and things that ever human or rather animal soul craves. But then one might ask what difference Liberty and Freedom entails as they seemingly and essentially appear the same. In fact its true that they are identical but for a slight difference. Liberty is the ability to exercise freedom without harming another.  It is true that our should never be for absolute freedom but for absolute Liberty and only the lady of liberty can bring about such profound change in humanity that they stop existing as a coercive species and as groups of idealists. 

The quest for freedom or liberty what ever it may be is a long one and much is left to be done to attain this perfect balance. what we need now are not champions of democracy nor champions of liberalization but we need champions of liberty. Champions who can and will work to bring about absolute Liberty. A liberal world is the most perfect world that we can ever hope that our children will ever live in. 

Dreaming of such a wonderful world I stop her assuming that from the shreds of things I talked about you could find what is that you want from the freedom and liberty you already have and what is that space that you want to create for liberty to thrive.

The Nights of the Firefly

The monsoon has just took an hiatus after barging on my window silts for what seemed like hours, the night still resounded with the faint dripping of the raindrops, yet there was an unusual silence about the dark veil it wore. The cold night which was reeling under the rain was just released and like a convict freed from the prison, it took in a deep breath, a profound, prolonged breath. The tress swayed and banged their heard on my bedroom walls. The night was poignant and yet there was one visitor who was not gloomy, one who was high in spirit, dancing around with a limy lantern on her tail.

Every monsoon she had came to visit me, day in and day after and this rainy night was no different, betwixt the occasional lashing of the coconut palms and the slow insidious murmur of the cricket. Slowly gliding into the darkness of my room, the strange ghostly lights, yellow, green and fluorescence of the chemical light, as though she in her gentle palanquin. She swayed and she glided, she smiled and she frowned and she sat on my bed with child-like innocence. A creature so pure, so beautiful, that her faint yellowish green glow has filled up more than just a room, it has filled my heart, the gentle sublime firefly!

“The fireflies o'er the meadow In pulses come and go.” 

- James Russell Lowell

Have you ever seen a lake at night filled with fireflies, if you have not then you have seen nothing. The beautiful sight of floating lights that embellish the nights in a festive canopy, they go on and off in a blaze with subtle demeanor. My room was filled with them many a times, gaining shelter from the tormenting rain that just went by they came in. I do keep my windows open and welcoming, they are never closed and hence I do have a large number of visitors day and night and my little friends here were more than just acquaintances. They would sit at the various places that they felt comfortable, transforming my room clad in darkness into a sight as serene as the night at the lake.

But Alas! the times have changed and changed a lot too, the lantern like angels do not come visit anymore, the night skies are darker than the used to me, shrouded by darkness and the pessimistic cacophony of the rumbling concrete jungle on the rise. The fireflies have long been gone, but even today as the rain battles on my walls, trickling and spraying off my window rails, I dream of the lake, the dark, the blue, the silent lake filled with a million tiny sparks in the starry sky.

Now we have a Century : A Letter of Cognizance

Dear Friend,

                              When I started my blog way back in 2009, I have had no idea that I would ever be able to stick with for long enough, let alone be able write my 100th post. But here we are and I sure owe it all to you. When I started thinking seriously about writing I was apprehensive, uncertain and greatly confused, but I did sure want to come out and give it my best. When I finally decided to go through with my plan , Pages off Life was born.

                             Pages off Life was never the run-away success that I hopped it to be. but most of its juvenile years it spent going in and coming out of one hiatus after the other. But pages of Life was my only project that stood the test of time, when my other blogs just withered away there was something special about it that made it survive the hard times and the only thing that made its survival possible is you my friends. 

                               Before 2011, I had not many followers nor many readers but still I kept writing and slowly  you came to my site, some leafed through, some dared to come back and some took a liking to it that I never will understand. Everyone one of you made my day one way or the another. You gave me a valuable gift, the gift of your time and further more your criticism and guidance that made me  a better writer post after post. I am proud today not because I have many followers but because I have made many a friends, because I have had the privilege to be among a magnificent crowd of remarkable people.

                           I thank you today more than ever for your support and guidance, for the heart that cared and the words that guided me. the truth is if I am a writer then you have made me one. It is you who have shown me the strength when I was in doubt and it is you have shown me belief when I was lacking in faith. Page off Life may be my blog but it is not mine, it is ours to be.

 Thank you, Friends!

Wet with Tears

I just finished reading Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch albom and if you have had read it once then maybe; just maybe you would know why I have titled my post so. The truth is that I have not cried so much, at least not produced so much tears by volume in the last several years. This book undeniably has struck a few chords with me. I was weeping thru the life Morrie Schartz and I honestly have no idea why and I believe may be writing this would fetch me an answer. This is just another of my aimless self-inquests.

When Morrie battled it out triumphantly with ALS and died a serene death that many among us desperately dream about, his left many a men bewildered at its blatant simplicity. It may forever remain the enigmas of life, the secret of self-discovery and salvation.  It occurred to me I am a sad example for any form life, no real purpose, no real dreams and certainly no real ambitions and the worst of all the ugly fact that I am doing nothing about it.

There are three kinds of people in this world. Firstly the ones who knows what he wants and does what must be done,  secondly the ones who have no idea about it and hence does nothing whatsoever about it. These two I believe must be happy at all points in their life, for the first are a contend lot and the second bask in evanescence of ignorance and hitherto has nothing to y and a worry about. But sadly I belong to a third group of troubled, lonesome, frustrated mob, the ones that what they wants and does nothing about it and hence settles themselves to self-pity and a life full of discontent and emptiness. May be it made me realize the emptiness inside of me and that’s why I cried, maybe I cried because I know what I wanted to be and just realized that I was nothing that I promised myself I will be.

Mitch talks about a lot in the 200 pages that the book really is, there was so much love, compassion and gratitude. These things touch your heart no matter in what colour and brand they come in. The truth about life is simple, we crave love and we crave it with all our heart. It is to the soul what fresh air is to the body, we thrive on it and when we don’t get enough we suffocate and our soul perishes. I quote from a recent movie “make sure when the final buzzer goes off on your life BHeeeeee you have no regrets”. I makes me think, How many of us can really say that if this very moment as I am writing these words and you are reading these we die,  we would have no regrets. Not me! I could very well haunt the attic of my own house due to the sheer volume of unfinished business that’s left. May be it’s the realization that made me cry like a new born.

Or maybe it’s just a sign that I am still human and I have that small bit of humanity left forgotten in some deep corner of my institutionalized heart. It always occurred to me that this was one good excuse or reason however you may take it to provide for my momentary lapses and occasional tryst with reality. Many a times I have took shelter under this roof and I see no reason why not today, why not now.

There is one more reason for the profound volatility that I experience now emotionally, the fact that life is short and succinct is not one that I am unfamiliar with but the truth is that I dawns on me time and time again and leaves me in a kind of a emotional upheaval.

I end now for I have no more to say!

PS: I don’t know why I wrote this, I felt a need to. I not know what I meant by it, I just went by my heart. The truth is my emotions are as mixed up as the post is forgive me! guide me!