The Death of A Nobody

It feels ridiculous that I write about it. it is completely insane that you have to mourn about the death of a person whom u barely knew. In fact her death didn’t even get me thinking in the cliques. I had not thought of the afterlife, neither have I thought of the reality of mortality. In fact it hasn’t gotten me thinking at all. That’s why I most certainly must write about it. It does bother me that her death didn’t bother me.

And who was she? I am not keeping any surprises here; It is not a thriller, it just a true piece and I could get myself to write a literary piece. It’s not that I don’t want to, I always wanted to but eventually they turn up something altogether different. But of course where were we. Yes! Her, she was my neighbor, and that’s all. She was my neighbors, whom I hardly saw and I hardly talked to. There she would be most afternoons sitting in patio, staring at the evening sky. I always thought she might be waiting for her dead husbands return, I always thought of it to be very romantic. But, I suppose she didn’t have anything much to do than stare at the afternoon sun.

It’s been eleven years now, since I moved in. The neighborhood has quite and passive, it did not have the great athletes or the outlandishly gorgeous girls in it. It was an ordinary neighborhood with ordinary people living in it. It’s an ideal place for honest people making honest living, and the one thing that I adored the most since I moved in was… ‘No one cared’. But then there were some who did their bit and she was one of them. She never pried but she always inquired. In the eleven years of being neighbors she came calling hardly twice, once it was with the invitation for her grandchild’s wedding and the second, I can hardly remember why she came the second time. Most of her acquaintance was my mother which was on a strictly ‘we chat on the street when we see’ basis.

She was there ever since I remember my new home, she was there when we had the moving in and she was there when my granddad moved in nearby. Of course I never cared enough to enquire. But I do remember her; I remember seeing every day sit in her patio. She would be there watching the birds and the trees, feeling the wind and the air and when she had a couple of children in her household, she had herself an upgrade. Now she used spend her time watching them play in their courtyard. I know those punks; they were naughty and way out of their minds. They were so themselves that they could drive any man so crazy that they would want to change their permanent residence to St. Claire’s. Oh! For those of who don’t know, that’s an asylum. If u still don’t know what I am talking about let’s just say it’s a place where they keep people with very serious issues.

It’s understandable, on second thought not even worth thinking twice, it’s just obvious why she would just sit and watch them run in circles as they were orbiting some imaginary planet. But, that what she was and that’s all she was. She was the woman who sat by her patio every evening watching her grandchildren play. And then she dies, just like than one day, I get a call and my mom says she is no more. Oh sure she didn’t put it that dry, She called in and said “Dear, Do you remember the old lady across the street? She just passed away”. She said it subtle and simple, but still the same thing.

I don’t miss her and I could care less. But to tell you the truth, if that was all I wouldn’t be writing this anyway, would I? The fact is something feel void now, Come on, till a couple of days ago she was there and now she’s not. Every time I look at that house, it immediately strikes me, it’s not just something misplaced, and it’s rather something missing. The event and the relation might be much less stronger. She is dead and she is not going to comeback. It’s not hard to accept that, nevertheless I did just finish writing about it. I had no idea what I had to write when I began and I have no idea where I stand now, but I did write and I wrote it all. May her soul rest in peace.

                         

Remembering my Great Grand Mother

There was a picture hung by the wall of by old countryside home, it was a gray scale picture of three young girls and a grandmother. At first I wondered who they would be and I kept until one day when I asked my grandfather who those girls were? He held me up in his arms and pointing to the picture with other hand. He told me that, it was my mother and her sisters. I was so shocked for till then I definitely believed that they were born that way and they will remain so for all eternity. If I recall my grandpa’s version of the story I cried, but mind you, I never accepted his claims what so ever.

Years later I came in terms with my mother and her sister who are so big now being so little then, The thing that still caught my attention every time I  looked at that picture is old lady in the picture with silver hair and a grandeur that was there in her face. Her stance had a stature that I seldom saw in people then and before. By the time I procured all the courage to ask who she was it was then again years later. This time I asked my grandpa who would be by then asked all kind of stupid questions by me, who she was. And He said she was a grandmother and I was confused. I already had one grandmother and extended him the same enquiry with an ‘innocent smile’ (in his words). He smiled and said of course you have but she was my mother grandmother so my great grandmother she was!

From then own I heard a million wonderful stories of her and her life, she was never a stereotype and she was always a person I grew up to respect. I never knew her and she was long gone the time I was born. But still I loved her and I loved the picture of hers. There was definitely something special about her and it was evident in the picture. My mother told me many wonderful memories of her’s. She told me of her times with her grandma and how wonderful a person she was. All these stories I used to create for myself the great grandmother who was truly great for me by them. Great as in life as in day dreams she was.

Born in the dark times to a wealthy aristocratic family, she was never the one for stereotypes. When education and profession eluded women, she showed the courage to step up and break down the barriers. She learned and exceled and then became a teacher, the first one from anywhere in her area. But that was not all, my mother always told me how she used to manage her carrier and the large paddy fields she inherited and all her children all alone. She was the most respected one of her lands and the local folks used to come to her for permission. She loved her men as they loved and respected her back.

My mother used to tell whenever gypsises came to the lands near hers they would come ask her permission before they would go anywhere. This is just one among the many stories I heard of my great grandmother. There is one another story that I always loved. My aunt told me once that whenever they went to hers for the summer breaks she would have by then plucked all the mangos in her plantation and hid it neatly under the hay stacks so that they would be ripe and the three of them would go scavenger hunting for mangoes.

I do wish I was there to witness it all. Bound in these concrete jungles of modern times, these little good times are for memories alone and any one who dares to dream of it as anything else is bound to disappointment as always. Those are the good time that will never be back upon us and they are special people who will be born once and if u missed them then you missed them. There is no going back. Yet I wish that was not true.

When a bird came calling

There is no day such as this that suits the writing of a piece as this. A tribute to her, on her birthday, telling no more than how “I miss u to” her. Our story took a sweet twist recently when out of the blue I got a call from an old from of mine. He called me up and told me she had asked my number and he was going to send it to her. I didn’t hesitate and seized the moment to get cell number and dial her up.

Of all the decisions I made in life that one of those which I will be thankful to myself for a very long time to come. That single day from just another day to the best day in a long time. Now just one month from that wonderful day I am still as happy as I was that day when I called her up. The initial excitement might have worn off but then still I really do have her with me. It is wonderful how life turns around in a couple of moments. People who you believed lost forever, whose memories you tried so hard to bury. Whose funerals you vowed to miss no matter what, just so that memories of past will not be dead weight upon your legs for years to come. Those who you wish never knew so that you would not miss them like this, so that they would not come again and again in your day dreams reminding you what you lost.  And after all this, they still coming walking into your lives killing all those memories you made up and trashing your castle of lies to the lies like a house of cards. They come in as if nothing has ever happened.

But, even when all the above still stand true, I just realized what have I earned. I earned another shot at life, I got what many people never get in their live, I got a second chance. When I her again, when I saw her smile just again, I would feel my heart well up and I had to try it all to avoid it reflecting in my eyes. The moments of awkward silence that followed where not silence as she might have seen, but times of great conflict tried hard to hide. She might have felt it bad that I did not talk at first and found it rather odd on my usually talkative self. All those nights of frivolous preparation that I had of how our meeting will be after all these time. But one thing about all this I really liked, she was what I remembered her to be and wanted her to be. She was herself.

After so many log years, it’s wonderful to have back your friends. People who supported you and encouraged you in each step you took. The people who pushed you off the cliff, because you were you afraid to open you wings and flap it hard. She was the one who made who I am today and it was wonderful to have her back in my life.

Today on her birthday, I would just sit and think of all the time we spend together and all the stupid things we did together and now that she is back in  my life, I have a lot of new stupid things to look forward to. This story just got started; I can feel it in the winds and in the air. We have a million plots to go through before we reach the last chapter.

Happy birthday my dear !

The New Blogger Interface !

It’s been time, it’s like the breath of fresh air, and So long we have been stuck to the old and rusty interface that it really needed a change. Ever Since Google rolled out its new interface for G mail, I have been waiting for such a change to happen to the blogger interface as well. And now, it’s here. Blogger finally got a new interface for itself after all. There been rumors and speculation but lately I have been worried it would never happen but it’s here and it’s a cause for celebration.

A makeover just like G mail

Looks like Google been following a trend around its new interfaces, It showcases the same styles and gradients and colors quite like its recently rolled out G mail interface and its feed burner interface and of course not  to forget the trend setter, Google Plus. Google's been trying to strike up a similarity between its various services, talk about getting it all under the same umbrella. The Orange and cream theme style that popped up with the Google plus, which then has been extended to G mail provides a clutter free interface to work on.

The old way of too much things in too little space has been changed to a well-organized yet feature rich interface. The primal lack of the interface as pointed out during its implementation in the G mail is the lack of interface customization which is it still suffers from. Google though makes the new look available does not gives users any more control than it has been in its previous interfaces.

Dashboard and Page overview

The new dashboard is cleaner and much better thought of than the previous one. They have managed to lose all the extra buttons and have ended up grouped together in a single drop down menu reduced to a small cleanly placed along with the page link.

Every page now has a little overview tab that is by default the greeting window for any page and shows all the recent facts about the particular blog. Especially the new page view and the associated features that have been added under the Stats have been fairly useful. These have managed to provide the power of Google’s analytical skill ones solely provided through the Feed Burner now easily accessible.

Greater Control

The main pop out thing about the new interface is its ability to provide greater control and flexibility to any blogger. Any person who has been using Blogger from time to time for some time might most probably find the new interface refreshing and very easy to use. The well organized and carefully placed into a sleek tab set. There nothing catchy around the new interface just old school elegance.

The new user offers greater control in the sense provides a bigger and well sorted tool set especially for Layout planning and Template management. Comment moderation and Stats has been updated. Stats have been a newly added feature into Blogger which has undergone tremendous improvement over its former versions.

Simpler Writing Area

The writing area now features a more text editor look that the previously cramped space provided. The new Blogger provides a cleaner and faster multimedia upload tool and has undergone a revolutionary change in terms of touch and feel. It has been much more properly put with the writing area extending to the full screen size but no significant improvement has come over the tool set, sadly it’s the same.

Earnings and AdSense

The Earnings and AdSense column has been cleaned up along with the blog. It now offers a seamless interface. It also connects better with your AdSense account and collates the data better than in its previous avatar. Its ability to have more access to features once limited to Feed Burner service increases the user experience a notch up.

Same Old Story in a new Box

The same old story in a new box that’s all about the new Blogger interface in its totality. The new interface has managed to do what it did to G mail to Blogger as well. It has managed to de clutter the interface and makes the overall experience great. But that to the limit the innovations has been limited to. Other than greater cross feature support with Google’s Feed Burner service nothing new has been released along with the theme release. No new gadgets, No new features and absolutely no new anything worth noticing at all, just a shiny new interface.

Google’s janitors has managed to listen to the user’s long term needs and cleaned up the Bloggers former interface which was in use for quite a lot of time now and was crying for a change. But sadly Google has only managed to clean up the surface, the contents have managed to stay the same irrespective of the upgrade. May be sooner Google will be able to give us a nice little upgrade over the old tools.

Google have done a great job with the new interfaces and deserves the praise for that never the less. Hail Google !

The Story of a Kiss

" The day was dry, moments wary ,

and then there was the kiss.

The sun shone and clouds gone,

and there was the Spring

Butterflies had come, birds sang

and then there was the KISS. "

This is the story of my very first kiss, of how our lips wrote a new story. The very first of our secrets was born that day, when my lips touched the soft skin of her cheek and the next was born when hers made the slightest impression upon my temple. To lock your lips in a frantic desperate kiss may be exciting, but this was exquisite. The kiss was classy, so was her smile, the way her eyes lit up and the faint lines on her face popped up adding the lightest rosy tinge to her pale face. She was beautiful as ever then.

The details are the part of a very precious memory, something that will be remembered no matter how life turns out to be. Those were moments of decision, the moment when you decide is it the one you will live with. I have heard from somewhere that when it comes to love whether you are going to go the length no matter how long it turns out to be is the true test of your love. Kissing is sure the way to find that out, Kissing is not just about passion and tongues getting twisted in a cannibalistic macabre, but it is the like the dew drops settling upon the rose petals even without waking up the little flower.

I do miss the days of these prince princess kisses !

The thing that most specifically appeal striking to me about my first kiss is that it were at a time when we were still more of friends and less of lovers. May be cupid saw his chance then and moved in, as i discovered the most beautiful girl in the world as she cuddled by me. These kisses were more than just kisses, they were exchanges, excahnges of soul and feelings and some mystical bond was strengthening slowly in the deapths of our hearts. We were getting bounded by a bond stronger than anyother, yet so invisible. Thus the kiss had grown and had united us in one

As I sit now and write about it, I can see the events of that wonderful day unfold before my eyes, like a movie being played back. I can savour the scent in the air and the ambience that were set that day. The details sit at the cosiest part of my heast to write about, but one thing can be told. The kiss was magical, too good to be true. The smile that broke after that, striking a curve through her delicate lips and the way her eyes lit up and wetted those were the things for the most precious of my memories. I still remember her face that day like it was just moments ago. Those were time when moments stopped and universe howered. 

True love may meet but once and to have it is one thing but to recognize it when it is right there, in front of you is another. They call it star crossed and we call is 'kismet'. Love is always adorable how it pans out affects anything and everything around you. you see flowers and butterflies you have never seen before, its not that they were not there but you were too narrow to notice. Love widens you up and a kiss can tell you whether you are in the love you want to be in.

Ever since my first kiss and the love of my life ( not the first one ) I have had the most bedazzled life ever. Yes, Mine is still a short time on earth but i belive life is measured not in years but by the life lived. Belive me when I say my last year with her was the best I ever had and it still looks to get better only. One year, It just has been one year but the spark is not gone and it feels like its been ages since in love. Wow! wonderful was what that kiss did to me.

This is the story of my very first kiss and it is not going to end anytime soon. As new stories are wriiten and new character are born I should tell you this. Keep your eyes open wide and heart wider, you never know when your star croosed other choses to pay you a a visit.