My Love with Fractals

Ever since I knew myself I was in love with science and its very diverse aspects. The various mysteries that it upheld and the many fascinating ideas that emerged from it. I always found it both interesting and engaging to chase around science and technology. This urge to know has always been as much part of me  as anything else, even my passion for writing. Its one side of me that I often do not ponder in my writings ever. The reason to bring it up now is of immense beauty, both in its meaning and its aesthetics. The reason is fractals.

For anyone who does not know what a fractal is the layman explanation is of utmost simplicity. A fractal is anything that is self repeating , That is if we have such an image that when zoomed in represents closely the original image then it is called a fractal. My introduction to fractals happened some years back when I was casually watching a soap opera. I just heard a character mention fractals as his mathematical curiosity and that caught my attention and then I was head over heels into fractals.

Nevertheless my inquiry into the world of fractals showed me many things including that of some very cleverly hidden secrets of the natural world. If you must know, fractals are everywhere around us, Fractal patterns determine how the blood vessels branch and how the snow is formed, one would never imagine its significance in the world. Any how that is not what I am here to tell you, this has to be told to   you by a mathematical wizard and I am not one. I am just here to point out to you the wonderful and beautiful world of fractals and I believe nothing could attain that edge than these pictures I happened to collect from the internet. 

Offending the Class Clown

Yes Mister! What do you want?

What is it that is about you that you make such a ruckus in this room? Is it there a thing that you wish to tell or is it just an undying need for attention that drives you. I understand that what that is talked about here is bit high flying and I expect not all to grasp the truth and beauty of it right away but this mockery is sure uncalled for.

Do you know what you are? You are the class clown, the truly unremarkable joker, the time filler who fills the void with his vibrant costumes and the dumbness of his mindless action. You are not important in fact you are not even unimportant, you are inexistential. Nobody weeps when you die a new masked clown takes over. Neither the nation nor crowd that cheers for you jokes weeps when you are gone. No unfathomable void is created when it is time for your departure. They all will wave you good byes and they all will exchange lot of goods and they will forget. They will forget you and your jokes and you will become one among the many in the albums. Neither you nor your jokes will survive.

It is a shame that you must be present here; it is a crime that you fill seats in this great hall. You are the crime and you should be abolished. The witless glutton that you are in your vainglory occupies all that is high and mighty when in the utopian reality you are who that destroyed what would have been another’s Holy Grail. The only thing that you the big waste of time and resources do manage to is to deny an interested soul a chance at redemption. I call upon god to take away all such worthless creatures; in fact it is just a crime that you exist. You should not exist and you should not be given a chance at life when a worthier life exists that would value what is it that have got when they do get it.

Dear mister class clown all I have is just one request do keep quiet or do bless us with your kind absence and abstinence, for all you do is corrupt the good and spoil the mood. I understand the world is spinning too fast for but don’t you try it to slow it down to your snail pace. Do understand you are the hindrance and the obstacle for what is that I am here and why others are here.

And the class clown cried. 

The Link

The sci - fi me was having a rather good time enjoying the discovery channel when I stumbled upon a curious looking and sounding program called "The Link" and hence my title. The show focuses on how seemingly unrelated discoveries or inventions are related and how one invention let to another and finally to the technological marvels that today we take for granted. The National Geographic talk about the show such:

"Technology is all around us. From computers to cameras, cell phones to sat navs – our dependence on technology has never been greater. But how many of us ever stop to question how these inventions actually came about? Challenging the commonly held view, that they appear fully formed, out of nowhere, The Link reveals the surprising origins of some of the most important technological breakthroughs, of the modern world."

So, why am I talking so much about a random show I happened to watch in National Geographic? The reason is simple. This is what is missing from today's educational system the worldwide. Lets take India's case for example, from the days we start learning we focus on passing exams and mugging up most things. It is a very selected few who go into inquiring about why it came to be. The fact is that education has reduced to more of studying and less of learning. How many of us, the educated mass as we call are able to explain why some certain things came to be and how they influence people, society and humanity at large. Take the case of fire or agriculture or the production line, do we know why it came to be, how it came to be or what it did to the society then? Isn't that what education was supposed to impart to us?

What I am trying to say is that at some time along the way we have lost sight of our goal and has gone astray. We don't need to overhaul our entire system, that's is not possible and even if its possible its not feasible. Our educators are good, our institutions are equipped enough. I don't mean at any point that all our schools are in surplus of facilities but I do believe that our schools have just enough infrastructure to create a thinking and capable tomorrow. What we really need is a change in the systems and its priorities. The priorities should move away from scoring marks and more on understanding concepts.


When one starts to speak about de-prioritizing marks people usually come to conclusions that exams are the villain and they should be taken to the guillotine. In fact that will only cost us dearly, exams should be there otherwise how will we evaluate our children, how will we ensure their progress? What we need are exams that evaluate children's understanding of a subject and their ability to correlate and infer. We need exams that will ensure understanding and model our syllabus and curricular to attain this aim. This does not involve a major over haul of anything but a few fundamentals of our educational system. 

Let our children be Einsteins and newtons, let them make and create and innovate tomorrow, let them know that they alone have the ability and the power in their hands to craft tomorrows dreams. Let them understand that their dreams are not simply dreams but visions for meeting tomorrows challenges head on, solve then and conquer them. When they understand this and cherish this revelation then only we will have completed our responsibility towards our children and completed our link to the next generation.

"Do watch "The Link" on National Geographic if you can its a great show to watch if you are a technological junkie or just a curious homo sapien!"

731 Days of Frivolous Love

It was not two years and one day ago that I met her. I knew her even before, In fact I might have even known her from another life. I have seen her even before that, not superfluously but even in the much simpler most straight forward sense. We were friends then and then we were better friends and now much more than just friends in the contemporary sense. But still we are friends first and anything and everything next.

The first time I met her was in my first days of college, in the most casual way, unnoticed and perturbing of each other’s existence. The first time I talked to her was in the gleaming presence of borosil glasses of the many million shapes and the vast variety of colourful liquids that it contained. Under its silent and tinted rendering of a magnificent evening was the first ever sounds greeted her in menial enquires. Then the first share the first touch, the first embrace and the first kiss and above all the first tear drop of love.

Two years back on that day lost among the wondrous celebrations how did I realized that it was to be her? That I don’t know but when our eyes met that day, then and there. I knew we were much more much more than what the earthy bodies have bounded us to be. We sue had history: a history that spanned eternities together. Her imperfections so perfectly sculpted that they fit like a hand in a glove to my imperfection. SO does my imperfections to hers. We complement and we complete and in unison we are eternal, transdential and complete.

Today all I price is her nearness all that I care for is the pungent fragrance of her aroma. Today everything is but another way to her just another step towards the ultimate union that is her and in her. Today everything is about her and about our love for one another. The one fact of the most greatest consequence today is that I am hers and she mine.  The one ultimatum is and is always is that

I LOVE HER.

Its all about Love

Hasn't it always been about love? Wonder what I am taking about? I am taking about marriages. India is a confusing country for a marriage to exist, to one side we have lots of customs and the rich cultural vibrancy that at this epitome of ethnic diversity throws about and to the other we have the largely commercialized and institutionalized gala called a marriage. Somewhere along the way I start wondering what really is a marriage about? Is it about two people in love uniting or is it just something done because everybody else seems to be doing and is it just at the primeval end a means to keep ones clan running.

The one word that describes the ‘wedding’ industry could be magnanimous; the elusive and lucrative industry has stripped Indian marriages off its essentialities and replaced them with material substitutes that corrode an institution that has long been considered scared. The sanctity of the marriage has been long lost; it has been violated and prostituted. But what surprises me the most is how people could be so blinded that they could for go what is essential and indispensible in a marriage, Love.

History is the witness when it comes to marriages in India. History bears witness to the freedom of choice and the simplicity of the great Indian weddings. Brides were respected and bridegrooms stood proud without a price tag.  What now appear to have become a largely commercialized and hyped up cultural gala and festival with much diminished  importance for the actual wedding was not always so. The advent of arranged marriages are not so clear to me but must probably they came from a group of controlling fathers eager to extend their family lineage and false prestiges.

It passes my mind how arranged marriages could ever succeed, it is incomprehensible to me how two people completely unknown, unaware of each other even to the slightest character could ever co-exist as such. At least isn’t that not a gamble? A leap of faith? Of course they succeed what choice does they have?  We live in a society that taken over by its totalitarian dystopia dictates terms and conditions on our existence. They expect us to obey and follow the crowd like buffaloes and those that dare to stand apart are either classified as philosophers or mad men. Then again I believe, this lack of choice and subjection is the one and only reason as to why such a marriage should exist, Like my friend so daringly terms it, A compromise!

Don’t for one second believe that I disagree with the fact that occasionally there comes a couple that are just perfect or so near to that place. What we call a real match made in heaven. But isn’t that just and odd chance a, a play of probabilities? Love marriages or as I call it a real marriage exists and stems from love the sole reason that appeals to me when committing to such a demeaning soc ial institution. Why else should one marry if not for love after all marriage is all about love!

An Invisible Man

What true is that all men are invisible, invisible like glass, so invisible that they are seldom seen and the funny thing is that unlike glass they themselves feel invisible. Everyman is lonely, everyman is alone, how much ever he surrounds himself with people, he becomes more and more invisible. How can he be alone is an interesting question, especially in this fast shrinking world, but the sad truth is the smaller the world gets the lonelier its inhabitants get. It’s certainly a paradox upon itself that in the growing crowd people find themselves the more isolated.

We are connected with a million people through all sorts of media, wired, not wired, perceivable and unperceivable alike. Tiny electronic chips plug you to a vast network of friends and family, acquaintances and what not. The virtual world of thriving socialization sees even people lacking in inter personal skills in real life make magnanimous groups in the virtual domain. But have you ever thought what you are worth without the internet. Has it ever occurred to you to sever away all virtual ties for a few hours, try it and see whether you are truly not alone. The networks have a very bad feature about it; it fills you with a false sense of reality. You chat and chat with your colleague on line but in real life you can’t even tell “hello” though you see here every hour of every day of your life.

I am not here to bash technology and it’s just taking me far away from what is it that I really what to tell. The only reason I introduced the internet and the telecoms is because I wanted to tell you the virtual life is not the real life. The moment you are free from all these amenities you find yourself alone in the world. It’s certainly no generalization but the sad fact that rules most of our lives.

There are two kinds of loneliness in the world or I think so. One is the loneliness that persists because there is no one to be with you ever, because no one loves you are likes you. Now this is a sad state to be and the vast majority of us never fall in this category. The other the more general state of loneliness that you and I are so easily susceptible to is the state of loneliness that arise from the fact that though there exist a crowd of people who loves you they are just not there right now. This loneliness is always in the now. The moment you are alone it creeps in. Though you have a dozen friends, now seems to think about you then, no one calls no one enquires and then the minds starts playing sinister tricks on itself.

There is a goodness to this feeling of loneliness, it shows you what you want, what you can have and most importantly what is it that you already have. You would only miss what you already had, isn’t it? The truth is that no one is really invisible in this world, everyone is visible. It only happens that you are in a company of souls that can’t see you. I know I have half contradicted myself, but the truth is that no one is invisible, it’s just happens that no one is looking is looking right now. That is not the same as being invisible, Is it?

The Amazon Interview Process

This is the crude stuff about how my interview at Amazon went, I did not want to bore my dear friends with it, but then I thought may be someone would find it useful. So this will be one among that few that's just there in my blog but not for my readers to read. This is for that tech crazy job aspiring people who would really find this useful as I found many such blogs useful for my preparations.

Amazon’s interview process is sure one of the toughest to crack, especially since they come with a very specific list of skills. Amazon’s interview process is intended to analyse one on the basis of a set of data points and the cumulative of all data points are taken to find the final result. It must also be noted that if one candidate fails to satisfy the company’s requirement even on one data point he or she will be eliminated instantly.

An Overview of Amazon's Interview process

Amazon looks for the following in any candidate

• Programming skills
• Problem solving skills
• Knowledge of Data Structures and Algorithms
• Problem identification skills

Amazon’s recruitment/placement process is divided mainly into two parts

• The preliminary test
• The technical interviews ( 3 – 4  interviews in the span of a day)

The preliminary test contains both technical and aptitude based questions and it also includes two programming questions that have to be coded in an environment provided by amazon. The primary aim of the programing questions are not to test your ability to produce outputs but the focus is on finding the better answer or the faster easier logic.

The interviews purely focuses on ones ability to solve problems and the depth of ones knowledge in the field of data structures and algorithms. The more important thing is that one should be able to code on paper as they will ask for complete working programs and they wont provide you a compiler to test it on. Further care should be taken when coding for the edge cases as all edge cases will be explicitly tested on your code by them.

The Aptitude / Technical Test

If ones dream of getting into Amazon must come true then it is mandatory that this round be cleared and clearing this is not very easy.

They ask around 20 wildly assorted questions spanning everything in computer science fundamentals and a few from aptitude section as well. One could always expect a few output questions from c and cpp. The only trick is to be through with the fundamentals. The list of questions and their topics I remember will be listed at the end.

Programming Questions

The more crucial part of the preliminary test is the coding section where you will be asked to code  two rather simple programs ( simple in reference to other programs that usually appear for coding contests or online coding tests) within a time span of 45 mins. Though Amazon as such does not explicitly specifies any restrictions with respect to the time and memory conception of the code, they do evaluate by hand the optimality and efficiency of the code to decide whom they should let in to the interviews.

Getting an output is not the primary criteria for getting a safe passage into the interviews. Do take extra care to make sure that a better solution is provided for each problem being asked. One more thing that should be kept in mind is that though the environment accepts your program if it provides the correct output for the provided test case it may not get you to the next round. Make it a point to construct your own test cases and test your code on that too. These should guarantee you a safe passage to the next round.

Again the question that I was asked and I remember will be provided at the end of the so called long prose.

PS: By the way don’t think about copying, they do use dif on  the codes.

The Interviews

I did have to go through a sum total of about 6 hours of interview process before I was selected and it was divided into 3 sessions. First a 45 minutes interview that tested me on problem solving, next was an another 1 and a half hour interview on Data structures and lastly a 3 hour 15 min interview on more advanced and tricky use of data structures, algorithms and problem solving.

The first interview included a warm welcome and two very straight forward questions, It only included a basic understanding of data structures and some very crucial logic to get past this one

The second one was a HR interview and a technical interview rolled into one. The HR questions asked were pretty basic and included questions like, what is your achievements and why amazon so on and so forth. The one thing to be sure about is that you should know your resume back and forth. They have asked me everything that was there on that piece of paper. Again all questions I remember will be appended to the document.

The third interview was the toughest one of all, it was a gruelling three hour process and some tough questions. There were two programming questions again one was really tough and the next was relatively easier which was then followed by lots of direct questions on data structures, more like rapid fire back to back questions round.

Every time they do ask if we have questions and its appreciated that one asks them questions and they do like being asked questions about the company and how work happens in Amazon.

Tips and Tricks

·      Learn to be able to deduce logic for solving a problem and then convert the logic into code. Do follow the distinction between the two. This helps achieve a generic approach to solving adhoc problems. I suggest using of flowcharts to deduce this logic as it helps convert complex logic to code very easily.( It aided me in coming out of the final interview in flying colours).

·       Try programming puzzles in sites like codechef and do participate in coding contests. This helps in developing an appetite  and aptitude for solving programing puzzles.

·         Do study data structures and algorithms very well, they are absolutely necessary for Amazon and do practise such that you be able to identify immediately what databases serves best when used to solve a particular problem.

The Questions

Preliminary

MCQ:

1. Given a rectangle of given size what is the minimum no of squares needed to exactly cover the rectangle.
2.  Identify a given algorithm.
3. Given several pipelines their time costs and the delay in starting each pipeline what is the time taken to execute a certain no of instructions that are depended on each other.
4. What is the maximum number of processors that can run using 11 resources such that deadlock will not occur.
5. Which of the following happens ( deadlock and starvation), deduce for the given code.
6. Several output questions.
7. One question to identify the suitable characteristics of a network to be used under specified circumstances.
8. A question for speed distance and time.

Sorry that’s all I can recall.

The two programming questions are

1. Given that amazon wants to recruit only one from a group of n equally qualified candidates, they have decided to make them all stand in a row and them ask the ones standing at odd places to go home, repeatedly till one exists. Given n by standing at what position shall ensure a sure recruitment by Amazon.
2. Given a linked list containing a sequence of characters, reorganise the string such that all the vowels appear first and the consonants next and they be sorted in the order they appeared.

Interview Round 1

1. Given that amazon wants to recruit only one from a group of n equally qualified candidates, they have decided to make them all stand in a row and them ask the ones standing at odd places to go home, repeatedly till one exists. Given n by standing at what position shall ensure a sure recruitment by Amazon. Assume that the list given is  a linked list and all that you will have is the pointer to the start of the linked list.
2. Print the elements in a n x m matrix diagonally and from bottom to top

Egs   for  a simple 3x3 matrix filled with number 1 - 9 print  7 , 4 8, 1 5 9, 2 6, 3                                                                                         

Interview Round 2

1. Given a stack add the following feature without changing any of the characteristics of the stack. getminelement() with unit complexity, O(1).
2. Everything in the resume round.
3. What are my best achievements and why I consider it my best achievement?
4. What are my weaknesses and when and how has it affected my productivity?
5. What are my projects and explain in detail what I did?
6. Explain how I managed my team and concentrated my teams effort to achieve our aim.

Interview Round 3

1. Given that the input is a binary tree connect all the elements in the same level or depth using links.
2. Given the stack what additional modification can you bring to the stack such that you are able to check the presence of an element in the stack.
3.  Direct questions on Hashing( predominantly )and other data structures.

Additional Questions

1. To swap adjacent elements of a linked list by modifying only the pointers. 1->2->3->4 becomes 2->1->4->3 and 1->2->3->4->5 becomes 2->1->4->3->5
2. To sort the elements of a vector. Stable sort. The elements are sorted based on element%7. {1,2,3,4,5,6,7,14} becomes {7,14,1,2,3,4,5,6}
3. To find number of sequences of the form 1...N such that each element differs from the previous by +1 or +2. N is the input. Bonus: Generate all possible sequences for given N.
4. An array is given. Each element differs from the previous by +1 or -1. Best way to find the first occurrence of given number.
5. Given an array of extremely huge size, find the sum of elements from ith index to jth index. There will be lots of queries even for a single array. So some sort of pre calculation is expected.

I just wanted them to ask

I just wanted them to ask,

Not bother and bask,

I just wanted them to care,

That is only obvious and fare.

I asked not for a sonnet and a song,

Nor for pretty things to sing along.

All I asked for was love,

And none is what I got till now.

I asked not was cages of gold,

But the tight grip of your hold.

I want not the glitter of your smile,

But for you to be not apart a mile.

I asked not for divine embellishments,

But for wet trace of your rosy armaments.

The love is dead, that I know,

But life that is mine is being lost in snow.

In white and in black you tread,

In things you say are far important than the bread.

Care, do you really?

Love, hope you could see fairly.

Such is the loss that I dearly know,

That it is so much for me to let go.

Love me, care for me I beg,

It won’t cost you an arm or a leg.

I just wanted them to ask,

Not bother and bask,

I just wanted them to care,

That is only obvious and fare.

This is for D, who was pestering me lot to make a poem happen! So here it is , I fulfilled my promise :D

Chasing Liberty

The idea of liberty and freedom has always been more than just words to our years, we have had undergone a grueling struggle to claim what we call our freedom. Enrich Freud, an eminent psychoanalyst points out that humanity always had a quest fro freedom but often it were  reduced to nothing but replacing an archaic system of suppression with a later model. The continuous changes in governance and  theosophical societies has played the major role in what is that we call freedom. As mush as I agree with him on this point I disagree to the same degree with his views. I know that could very well be called double standards but after all for us Freedom , Liberty and democracy are more than just words.

All men are born free, but everywhere they are in chains

                                    -Jean Jacques Rousseau

The idea of liberty and our chasing behind it is there in the very fabric of our existence. As Rousseau  invariably pointed out all most all men are born into chains though by entitlement they deserve none, they are born into the chains of society, the chains of relations, the chains of hypocrisy and the very chains of existence. Though one may argue that some chains are rather light and essential for a social being, I would like to point out that nevertheless they are chains and further more an encroachment on ones freedom.  However light the chains may be, however indistinguishable the reins may be, they are by all degree an hurdle in the quest for absolute freedom.

Absolute freedom mocks at justice. Absolute justice denies freedom.

                                                                                                                                - Albert Camus

The absolute freedom is as volatile a thing as anything can ever be. When a freedom so absolute arrives and is exercised in its purest form, wouldn't ones freedom be just another encroachment on another's, wouldn't one's freedom be a hindrance to another's. These questions pose an obvious answer, it certainly would. if you are still unclear on that let me put it with a light example out here. if my freedom allows me to kill somebody as it should as it is being purely nonrestrictive to me then that becomes an encroachment one that persons freedom to live with out any fear or danger whom I am to kill to exercise my freedom. That must simply make it clear that our quest for absolute freedom will never be quenched as there can never exist an ideal concept of absolute freedom that is exercised universal and without discrimination. 

Then what are we hunting when we are hunting for freedom? what really is freedom? is it an ability to do what ever we please when ever we please to do so? It is not! Freedom in its ideal form is just an act of balance where one can do what he pleases as long as he is never incriminating another's right to do what that persons feels to do. Freedom sure is a strange idea, so is Liberty. I would never talk of democracy as an idea as strong as an idea as liberty or freedom. Democracy is just another "cracy", much like autocracy, theocracy and so on. 

The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time.

                                                                                                                - Thomas Jefferson

But Liberty and Freedom are profound ideas and things that ever human or rather animal soul craves. But then one might ask what difference Liberty and Freedom entails as they seemingly and essentially appear the same. In fact its true that they are identical but for a slight difference. Liberty is the ability to exercise freedom without harming another.  It is true that our should never be for absolute freedom but for absolute Liberty and only the lady of liberty can bring about such profound change in humanity that they stop existing as a coercive species and as groups of idealists. 

The quest for freedom or liberty what ever it may be is a long one and much is left to be done to attain this perfect balance. what we need now are not champions of democracy nor champions of liberalization but we need champions of liberty. Champions who can and will work to bring about absolute Liberty. A liberal world is the most perfect world that we can ever hope that our children will ever live in. 

Dreaming of such a wonderful world I stop her assuming that from the shreds of things I talked about you could find what is that you want from the freedom and liberty you already have and what is that space that you want to create for liberty to thrive.

The Nights of the Firefly

The monsoon has just took an hiatus after barging on my window silts for what seemed like hours, the night still resounded with the faint dripping of the raindrops, yet there was an unusual silence about the dark veil it wore. The cold night which was reeling under the rain was just released and like a convict freed from the prison, it took in a deep breath, a profound, prolonged breath. The tress swayed and banged their heard on my bedroom walls. The night was poignant and yet there was one visitor who was not gloomy, one who was high in spirit, dancing around with a limy lantern on her tail.

Every monsoon she had came to visit me, day in and day after and this rainy night was no different, betwixt the occasional lashing of the coconut palms and the slow insidious murmur of the cricket. Slowly gliding into the darkness of my room, the strange ghostly lights, yellow, green and fluorescence of the chemical light, as though she in her gentle palanquin. She swayed and she glided, she smiled and she frowned and she sat on my bed with child-like innocence. A creature so pure, so beautiful, that her faint yellowish green glow has filled up more than just a room, it has filled my heart, the gentle sublime firefly!

“The fireflies o'er the meadow In pulses come and go.” 

- James Russell Lowell

Have you ever seen a lake at night filled with fireflies, if you have not then you have seen nothing. The beautiful sight of floating lights that embellish the nights in a festive canopy, they go on and off in a blaze with subtle demeanor. My room was filled with them many a times, gaining shelter from the tormenting rain that just went by they came in. I do keep my windows open and welcoming, they are never closed and hence I do have a large number of visitors day and night and my little friends here were more than just acquaintances. They would sit at the various places that they felt comfortable, transforming my room clad in darkness into a sight as serene as the night at the lake.

But Alas! the times have changed and changed a lot too, the lantern like angels do not come visit anymore, the night skies are darker than the used to me, shrouded by darkness and the pessimistic cacophony of the rumbling concrete jungle on the rise. The fireflies have long been gone, but even today as the rain battles on my walls, trickling and spraying off my window rails, I dream of the lake, the dark, the blue, the silent lake filled with a million tiny sparks in the starry sky.

Now we have a Century : A Letter of Cognizance

Dear Friend,

                              When I started my blog way back in 2009, I have had no idea that I would ever be able to stick with for long enough, let alone be able write my 100th post. But here we are and I sure owe it all to you. When I started thinking seriously about writing I was apprehensive, uncertain and greatly confused, but I did sure want to come out and give it my best. When I finally decided to go through with my plan , Pages off Life was born.

                             Pages off Life was never the run-away success that I hopped it to be. but most of its juvenile years it spent going in and coming out of one hiatus after the other. But pages of Life was my only project that stood the test of time, when my other blogs just withered away there was something special about it that made it survive the hard times and the only thing that made its survival possible is you my friends. 

                               Before 2011, I had not many followers nor many readers but still I kept writing and slowly  you came to my site, some leafed through, some dared to come back and some took a liking to it that I never will understand. Everyone one of you made my day one way or the another. You gave me a valuable gift, the gift of your time and further more your criticism and guidance that made me  a better writer post after post. I am proud today not because I have many followers but because I have made many a friends, because I have had the privilege to be among a magnificent crowd of remarkable people.

                           I thank you today more than ever for your support and guidance, for the heart that cared and the words that guided me. the truth is if I am a writer then you have made me one. It is you who have shown me the strength when I was in doubt and it is you have shown me belief when I was lacking in faith. Page off Life may be my blog but it is not mine, it is ours to be.

 Thank you, Friends!

Wet with Tears

I just finished reading Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch albom and if you have had read it once then maybe; just maybe you would know why I have titled my post so. The truth is that I have not cried so much, at least not produced so much tears by volume in the last several years. This book undeniably has struck a few chords with me. I was weeping thru the life Morrie Schartz and I honestly have no idea why and I believe may be writing this would fetch me an answer. This is just another of my aimless self-inquests.

When Morrie battled it out triumphantly with ALS and died a serene death that many among us desperately dream about, his left many a men bewildered at its blatant simplicity. It may forever remain the enigmas of life, the secret of self-discovery and salvation.  It occurred to me I am a sad example for any form life, no real purpose, no real dreams and certainly no real ambitions and the worst of all the ugly fact that I am doing nothing about it.

There are three kinds of people in this world. Firstly the ones who knows what he wants and does what must be done,  secondly the ones who have no idea about it and hence does nothing whatsoever about it. These two I believe must be happy at all points in their life, for the first are a contend lot and the second bask in evanescence of ignorance and hitherto has nothing to y and a worry about. But sadly I belong to a third group of troubled, lonesome, frustrated mob, the ones that what they wants and does nothing about it and hence settles themselves to self-pity and a life full of discontent and emptiness. May be it made me realize the emptiness inside of me and that’s why I cried, maybe I cried because I know what I wanted to be and just realized that I was nothing that I promised myself I will be.

Mitch talks about a lot in the 200 pages that the book really is, there was so much love, compassion and gratitude. These things touch your heart no matter in what colour and brand they come in. The truth about life is simple, we crave love and we crave it with all our heart. It is to the soul what fresh air is to the body, we thrive on it and when we don’t get enough we suffocate and our soul perishes. I quote from a recent movie “make sure when the final buzzer goes off on your life BHeeeeee you have no regrets”. I makes me think, How many of us can really say that if this very moment as I am writing these words and you are reading these we die,  we would have no regrets. Not me! I could very well haunt the attic of my own house due to the sheer volume of unfinished business that’s left. May be it’s the realization that made me cry like a new born.

Or maybe it’s just a sign that I am still human and I have that small bit of humanity left forgotten in some deep corner of my institutionalized heart. It always occurred to me that this was one good excuse or reason however you may take it to provide for my momentary lapses and occasional tryst with reality. Many a times I have took shelter under this roof and I see no reason why not today, why not now.

There is one more reason for the profound volatility that I experience now emotionally, the fact that life is short and succinct is not one that I am unfamiliar with but the truth is that I dawns on me time and time again and leaves me in a kind of a emotional upheaval.

I end now for I have no more to say!

PS: I don’t know why I wrote this, I felt a need to. I not know what I meant by it, I just went by my heart. The truth is my emotions are as mixed up as the post is forgive me! guide me!

A Great Speech for Humanity's Sake

The wonderful speech from The movie "The Great Dictator" featuring Charlie Chaplin.

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an Emperor - that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible -- Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another; human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me I say, "Do not despair." The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators die; and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers: Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel; who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate; only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers: Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written, "the kingdom of God is within man" -- not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men, in you, you the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite!! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people!! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise!! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.

Soldiers: In the name of democracy, let us all unite!!!

Moments of Silent Pleasure

I have read some where that love is not looking at each other for hours without end but it is looking at the horizon together. I have repeatedly failed to grasp what it meant but now things start coming to light. The fact that love has a language on its on and its synchronizes two souls that in otherwise would have nothing in common. The purpose of hope and ambition in love is simple, it serves as the bread and butter of love and it essentially distinguishes love from lust. When in love you know where you want to be now, where you want to be in one year time and where you want to be after a decade. It certainly is not planning but it certainly is a subconscious route map to where you are headed in love. Some understands it, some cherish it and some are scared the hell out of by it. Some run from it, some hide from it and some boldly face its adrenalin rush. 

Love is not what is said and written about. Love is the happiness, the silence and meaning of wordless-ness. Cherish it, embrace it and most of all dare to fall into its depth.