When Gods Fall and Angels Die : The Diary of a Victim

I have thought long and hard, whether to write about this or not, especially when what I have to say has much to do with another person and his life. I wouldn’t want to damage a life that is not mine. Had it been my life I could have risked it, but not with another man’s life. But then what I had to tell had its own significance and due importance in my life that I just had to write about it. Otherwise it would just be an injustice to myself and my blog which has always sincerely housed by dark secrets and flamboyant triumphs alike. And then I decided I had to write and write such that no one is hurt but so is my heart poured out and emptied.

When it happened to you, I was happy that it was not my life, but now when it had happened to me I see no path that will cover my speedy escape, no path fast enough to run away from myself. It has happened to me, but how often does it happen to one? How often does it happen that some one whom you have so far placed in a castle of gold and ivory in your mind has just fallen short? How often does some one you so dearly love, you so idolized just does something really stupid? How often do they with that one action, annihilate a lifetime of memories? It’s cruel, it’s demeaning that such would happen, but isn’t life cruel and unforgiving to begin with.

It has now happened to me, it’s not my first time but so far they were people who had not touched my life in flesh and blood, so far they have been the ones that had the limelight shine on them, the ones that owned the celluloid and the ones that roamed the green fields. Its one thing that such surreal people blinded by fame be idiots by own making, but it’s an entirely different matter that someone so real, so close, so kith and kin do what that can but be termed ‘stupid’. The facts of the dark be lit by no more light because there lies no pleasure in opening wounds that has decided to heal just on the surface even after so long. But its never the moments of thoughtlessness that causes the real harm, it’s the grueling hours that you are left with yourself, its unforgiving and heartless in torture, the grueling in hell!

But after long hours and after many a sunrises and sunsets when I finally got back what bit was left of my broken mind in order, though the damage was done the one person I could not bear to forgive was myself, not after all that I could have done and I did not, not when I have turned it around many times in the many replays of life I lived. But then I asked myself, how and why did this happen? What is it that one thing that changed in life so fast? May be I was too sure, too soon. But was I fair, fair in placing all those responsibilities on a person’s shoulder without his consent, fair in believing that someone will keep the promises that he had not given. The truth is I do not know, there a part of paining head that begs to kill him and another part that despises no one but myself. the truth is I don’t know.

I had to write about it, its life and it never takes its turn for your liking. It plays hard and fast, it always has and it always will. Always so full of lies, lies there, lies here, lies everywhere. Its such a shame that we live a life full of lies, may be just may be life is just another lie, a lie that we all believe to be true, a lie we believe on convenience alone. Isn’t it shameful or I am just still in a haze. What ever be the state that is mine, the ugly fact is that when the gods do fall and when angels die it’s never a pretty sight to behold. It’s a rape, a rape of the human mind and the mirage of trust.

Colours : A visit to Arakal Palace

When I recently visited the Araikal Palace in KannurCalicut , Kerala, What fascinated me more than the rich history that the place holds and a cameo appearance in a recent local flick is the rich colours that the  place had to offer, The white palace with rich sky blue lining and its colourful windows drew me to my camera like a fly to the lamp. I would have be so wrong if i said that that's all the place had to offer, but besides the colourful palace and its colourful windows were the colourful exhibition of paintings. A set of works by several local artists on the palace and its rich heritage, A fest of colours both intense and soothing. It was a colourful experience in all. A day of colour in the colourful city of kannur calicut!

For those of you who have no idea what 'Araikal' family means and holds in the history of India, A bit of an extract from Wikipedia ( I am no good in history, I flunked in more than once!). There you go a small but significant slice of India's colonial history.

Arakkal kingdom (Kingdom of Cannanore, Sultanate of Lakshadweep and Cannanore) was a former city-state on the Malabar Coast, ruled by dynasty of the same name. The ruling King was called Ali Raja and the ruling queen was called Arakkal Beevi.^[1] The king's palace, which he purchased from the Dutch in 1663, was named Arakkal Palace after the ruling dynasty.

In the 17th century, one of the Padanairs (generals) of Kolathiri, Arayankulangara Nair, converted to Islam and adopted the name Muhammad Ali.^[5] His wife was the daughter of Kolathiri, and they later came to be known as Arakkal.^[5] Muhammad Ali continued in the service of the Kolathiris even after his conversion, and his successors known as the Mammali Kidavus were the hereditary Padanairs of the Kolathiri.^[5] Around this time, many Muslim merchant families became financially influential in the Malabar region. When the Arakkal family took control of Laccadives, they achieved near-royal status.

For more info visit: Arakkal kingdom

( all photos are taken by me and distributed under the creative commons licence : feel free to share, modify, use , distribute and whatever you fancy(make some money off it, please be my guest) and if its okay with you add m  name to the credits otherwise forget it)