The Farewell

I don't know why there is a little moist tear drop dancing on my eyelashes, I don't know why there is a sudden feeling of heaviness upon my heart. Did I love them so much to inflict such stranger gloom on my being. I thought I was immune to all these, I have trained my mind to outlive it. I suppose I failed, I have only god to thank for it.

I know I will meet the best of my friends again, they will always be there in my circles for ever to the grave. But why do I miss the others the jokers who made every lecture a little a little less than a comedy circus and the silent ones who have been forever confined to the oysters they live that it was much difficult to acknowledge their existence. Why do I miss the buildings and the pathways, the secret gardens and the little parks. Why do I miss the four walls we call classroom and the the four years they consumed?

May be I know why, may be I am yet to find out the real reasons. The truth! I am not sure I want the truth, it may not be that easy to know the truth, that is my fear. I don't know how many years it will be since we the gang will meet again and I am not sure whether we will for that matter. Oh God! Let that be not true, let there be no daemons lurking in my worst fears.

The college has given me the best years of my life,  something that will be eclipsed by only the first cry of my first born. I have come to believe in life I again and the beauty of it's existence, the tangles of destiny and the crossing of our many paths. Then there is an end for everything, all I wish is that let this be not it, let this be not the time of the drought. Let this be just an autumn preceding a very beautiful spring.

Bonds to Cherish

It is possible that in the tumultuous lives that we all live, so full of twist and turns and not so happy endings, we may lose sight of who we are and what we are. These are the times that we truly question ourselves aren’t they. I am not here to lecture on what we ought to do and or suggest ways to cope with things that I have no idea of. But I can safely say that in thee difficult times it is our friends and family that keeps us together. That keeps us from falling into pieces. These are the people who have feed you those memories whose hand we take when the going gets tough; they have given us days by which we can swear that the times were better.

There are many bonds in life that are far too valuable to be neglected. The bonds those are inexpensive yet invaluable. The bonds that make you want to strive to be a better person every second of every hour of every day. In life we seldom comes across people that stick for the long, some become your wife, others become your best buddies and sometimes we are blessed with blood relations that are the best in the world. Sometimes we get brothers who would die by you and parents who would swear by you, not always but yet sometimes they do happen. Even for the less fortunate ones among us we get to be with friends who are just as intimate as a relation, if not more.

I myself has been lucky, for I have not found just one, but a bunch of them. In fact I have found half a dozen of them in my college life. I consider myself far too lucky in this regard. One among them became the person with whom I have decided to share the rest of my farting and the not so better part of myself with. The others would hitherto be my best men and women for the rest of life, godfathers and god mothers for the my, sorry, our children. Uncles and aunts who they will adore , the kind I will have a hard time preventing from spoiling my children.

When I walked up the stairs of this building with hardly a small back pack and an half-filled pen, with dreams that were taller that the tallest skyscrapers. I for one did not see this coming. I did not believe that I would be making buddies that will last a life time. But I made a bunch. I did not believe in love, yet I found the perfect girl. I had reservations for my future, yet it has never ever looked so promising. For what it’s been worth , The time I spend with my friends , squalling and trashing, fighting and abusing, loving and caring, looking out for one another and not. Those endless hours I have spent in there company gossiping. The insidious love and the improper infidelity. These were the best days of my life.

Great moments are born from great opportunity. That's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight

I remember this quote today, because four years back I was presented with a great opportunity , an opportunity to make friends with best and most amazing individuals in the world, and thank god you made me grab it and make  great memories of them.

An Obituary

The past week was not so particularly good; with two funerals in a row you can expect anything from it either. I hate funerals for a start, they make me rather uncomfortable. But where I stand different from the vast majority of people is on point of perspective, I hate funerals not because I have a hard time understanding life and contemplating death and neither because those are the moments that reveal the evanescence of existence. I hate funerals because of the way it is celebrated rather mourned. I believe death has to be celebration not a moment of sadness, it is a moment if liberation the point of the ultimate nirvana.

May I think so because  nobody close enough to me have so far died to cause me a traumatic state of mind or neither have I connected so well with the great people who have passed away so far in my close kith and kin. I do understand and uphold the possibility of a complete crackdown in ideology whilst someone so dear does pass away. If any do hold a stance not in unison to me do take me for a nubile and let it go.

I am writing this as a memorial for the souls whom I knew and did not have the good will to know before they disposed their mortal selves.  The first of it was the father of a friend, rather an acquaintance. I must say it was a very bad day to get to know him His father’s funeral is by no way the best of days to know a person and understand him. It’s so strange yet so true that in such dire moments we see people with no makeup, they are clear like crystal. Amidst the broken mind and the fl9owing tears they don’t have the time to put up a facet.  They are bared inside out and all they crave is a pat on their shoulder and a shoulder to rest on.

He was a wonderful person, teacher and personality, Not that I know him personally in the eyes of my friend and his mother I saw what a human he was, a true noble soul. In the words of anger that they uttered with divine disgust I was the loving father he was and in their omniscient silence I saw what and how much he meant to them. After all what could a man what from his short mortal stay than to leave a legacy behind, not in big books of history or in bronze statues but in the hearts of men and women whom he lived with and shared his life and its worth with. A man of incalculable value and an owner of a wide heart. May he rest in peace and may his family rejoice in the memories he left behind for them.

Next to depart was a person of such adorable nature, grandmother of my roommates, a very special person to him hence a very special person to me. I have seen her, been in her presence hardly minutes yet those moments shine through the kaleidoscope of my mind. She was a real women with an almost divine aura about her. I don’t want to talk more about her as I know that my friend will obviously read it and it’s hard enough for him I don’t want to make it any harder.  I really wish he didn’t read it at all.

It’s unbelievable isn’t it that in every second almost somebody very dear and real to somebody just cease to exist, some we know many we don’t know. Death is a ubiquitous truth that happens with no warning, no pattern nor any premonitions and yet its remains the most beautiful of all things that could happen to a person. Death is just the end of a dream we call life and death is an awakening into a world beyond the boundaries of this dream we call reality. Death is never an end it’s just the beginning of another existence.

The Day of the Women

Every once in a while when something sinister happens, we start talking about, their security, their safety, their lives and the several clichés that we so randomly use. The only exception to it ought to be this and a handful of other anniversaries. And now I am not going to be doing the same here just because it’s a cliché.

There were many women in my life and quiet a few are worth mention. And there are of course a few that I will not talk about ever, not even a passing reference or a unwelcomed memory. But in the making of the man I am today there are quiet a few skillful hands that that belonged to the some very lovely ladies all along. I must be very thankful, rather indebted to these very special souls.

I don’t know what being an women would come to mean and how it feels to be being the daughter of Eve. I can only imagine and my imagination ought to be highly restrictive. After all the key is to a women’s thought is yet to be identified. But it must feel wonderful to be the one to possess the gift of life a rare and divine responsibility that the heavens entrusted to them. The continuation of humanity ought to be a very demanding responsibility.

When we talk about women, its just natural to talk of fertility, the wonderful gift of giving birth and ‘The Mother’.  For centauries we have worshipped this divine gift and have always embraced it close at heart. So I am thankful to my very loving Mother whose sole love and care and the occasional scolding and scorning made me into the made of value I believe I am today. Then there is her mother, my grand mother who with her love and unbelievably tasty magic made sure that I was always full and stuffed to the brim. I must thank these two wonderful ‘one hell of a woman’s but I wont, I just love them and I will leave it at that.

Women have a heart so big, yet so small. It’s heard to get out once you have found your way in and its hard to find your way back into it once you have been thrown out. There are many women I love and I loved in the many (twenty one) years I lived. There are the ones that require a special mention and the ones that may have a passing reference, but irrespective of that they all have made significant contributions to the big and small things I have done and became. I have two aunts who were my world when I grew up and they are quite amiable too. And one of them I solely remember from her photograph on my grandfather’s desk and the weekly call she made to my grandparents house during my stay there. The two women own much of my construction and rightfully so.

Falling in and out of love is not a prerogative of men, women do it to often with such deceptive elegance and for a chauvinistic argument they do blame it on men always. But we both know the truth.  Then again its not the breaking and breaking of love that matters but living it. And from all the romantic relationships I have had and all the wonderful souls I have been with and the angel whom I have decided to share my life with (officially and officially she doesn’t know yet) I have had a life’s worth of wonderful experiences.

I have been blabbering for too long now and I don’t intend to take it any further than this. So for all the wonderful ladies I missed but not forgotten. All the teachers, friends and acquaintances and all the wonderful time they cared to spend with me I have just this to say.

Sorry! I missed to mention you

And

Thank you! For all the things and times you cared to share.

    

No Distance too Short !

When you look into her eyes and when you hold her fragile hand in your all you believe is one thing, just this one thing that no matter what the world decides to throw at you the very next second nothing can spoil this moment, because the moment is already perfect in itself . You believe no distance can ruin this for you anymore, you are here, she is here and then there is love, what more can you ever ask for ?

The truth is you always wanna be close to her, you believe have you had to leave her alone for just a fraction of a second and the wolves will descent. All you want is hold her close, feel her pulse, taste her lips, look in her eyes and let the world carry on because you have everything you ever wanted. You are here, she is here and this is all you ever wanted, ever. 

Photographs courtesy : Aziz
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