The Short and Splendid February – Part II

The First Part

Then as they say one thing led to another and before I knew it we were in love. We used to chat a lot, it was the time I understood the use of social media for the first time for teenagers, we shared secrets and partook on gossips we discussed and we talked and what not. Slowly we both got our mobile phones and we talked even more, calling each other for the slightest most insignificant matter and then talking about it for hours on end. Yes! This must be love, or so I thought.

But things started falling part slowly, destiny sometimes has its way of finding you and give you something you really need it takes away something that are yours and sometimes thing that you really want. With February days stated getting cloudier and nights humid, she started getting insecure and that manifested and possessiveness. I started feeling suffocated and slowly and steadily the relationships became a chore that neither of us liked to do. The hour long calls remained hour long but we were no longer talking, we were fighting about something or the other and then making up.  The thing about love is that there are a definite number of times you can make up after that it all goes south.

I wonder whether what happened had a lot to do with our personal challenges, the school was getting to a close, the graduation exams were but a couple of months away, everyone wanted a good college, maybe we felt that this was distracting us from our future, may be felt unsure of what to do next with us. A high school romance is a good thing only if you have the means to carry it forward. I was more of an under achiever in my school, never worked hard and I sometimes feel that had I worked a bit harder I would have been somewhere else but I don’t want to be somewhere else now. Where I am right now I am the happiest person alive in the subcontinent.

As our conviction in each other and the relationship started becoming more jaded, it finally started falling apart and one day over the phone we agreed on something after a very long time. We agreed that each other is not what we want; we agreed that a relationship that goes not forward is not what any one would ever want. And thus over the phone we broke up. This time I did not feel sad I was not depressed and I was not sulking about it. But after a very long time I breathed in freedom, I embraced relief and I acknowledged happiness. That night I slept peacefully.

I wonder now why it happened; I wonder why I felt happy that day. Did I make a mistake falling in love with her? The answer was not for me to know then but later in life at one point I felt most thankful to February than any other person in the world. One night I knew that fate had intended it and that was a lesson I had to learn for what destiny had in store for me.

And thus faded away February, we saw each other a couple of times after that night but we never talked then in person. Later after years we mended our wounds, laughed at our mistakes and our childish stupidity and at our admirable effort at something that we both now know had no chance of survival ever. We were both so much different fundamentally. At we parted ways as friends and good comrades rather than two spiteful and angry people. Alas what a February it was. But I must it was one hell of an experience and a supreme lesson in love.

My love life is not over there is a lot more to come, keep reading...

Some things about January.

The Short and Splendid February – Part I

January was good, but it ended on a sore note. You must be expecting a detailed account of what happened between January and February, but I must disappoint you in this matter. It was not good and for most parts rather ugly and let’s just leave it at that and continue forward. The end of January started for me a rather solemn and modest period, I was lost most of the time in thoughts and all I could think of was the beautiful days I had in my memories. I cried and wept over the shattered dreams and with each passing day I was becoming more dilapidated. The seasons changed and I didn't know and the flowers bloomed and I didn't care and finally I had gathered too much dust that I had forgotten myself in a solemn corner of my life.

But, one day I did wake up and one day I had to tell myself that I had to choose. I reminded myself that I had the choice between a ‘life of gathering dust in a corner’ and one where I could just go out and live life as it comes. ‘Carpe Diem’, that’s the choice I made.

It was over an year later that I seriously started having a life, that is the amount of time it took me to forgo the once beautiful dreams that had now came back to haunt me. The nightmares ones broken dreams make are horrendous, almost sinister in intent. The number of sleepless nights had reduced greatly and I must have had my first good night’s sleep around that time. But some people never learn and I am one of them. Due to this particular weakness of mine I had let in my life another somebody.

PS:  If you feel completely lost please refer my previous post. It will help you catch upon the misery.

It was by a rather off chance that I let February in my life. How it happened is still much fuzzy to me. She was always there, I must never have had seen her yet or I may just not have noticed or rather cared to notice.  Then as the days unfolded and as I stared coming out of my self-inflicted hermitage and started cherishing the world around me, we met. We met, we talked, we became friends and then something clicked and due to my tenacious friends and their perseverance in seeing to it that I hook up with someone the idea got planted in our heads I guess. Over the next year and a half we bonded, it was not like the first time I was in love, this was different.

She was smart and she was pretty but the best thing is that she was shorter than me. The most trouble I have with girls is that they apparently happen to be taller than me or they appear to do so, which is not a very good thing when you are out looking for company. But February was the perfect size in that regard, being friends was easy, it just happened and not much work was necessary neither did I intended to do any at that point in time, but being in love was a whole lot different. The way it happened is that one day she asked what I was going to give her for Valentine’s Day and I asked her what she wanted. She resorted to a shy and sly smile as an answer and knowing her so well by then I knew what was in her mind and I was happy that it was the same thing as in mine. Strange ways that love works, huh!

To be continued, keep reading

The College Road Trip

Have I ever told you how cupid played my side of the story, I guess not. So here goes my little love story on wheels.

It was on a cold December evening that we started on our college road trip, but little did I know that my life is not going to be the same again after this trip. In between the cold caskets of December nights with the winter mist casting its shadows on our window and slow tremors of our rather creaky railroad moments bloomed. There were the smiles and there were the looking in the eyes, slow humming and the magnificent feeling of her warm skin against mine. This was one journey that was about to offer much more than my most wishes combined together and it just had one hell of an opening night.  Of the many unforgettable things that happened in this week away, I for the sake of sticking to the mushy stuff skip a few of the things that have my tummy aching  even as I just write about it.

  

Our special moment must be the one we had during our shopping time in Bangalore (formally Bengaluru, but still Bangalore is romantic to me). In the city of gardens bloomed our dreams and I should say for a city of flower it has its jinx on us even now just for the sheer number of couples it generated over a single night. I must say electronic city is the least romantic part of the metropolis and there we were lost, unfortunately I, she and a few very good friends of ours were lost in its many nooks and cranny. For starters we were all there as a group to get a few souvenirs for taking home and among the boulevards and global retails houses we lost track of time and direction. Walking from one giant glass paned window to another is not a good way to know where one is going but who really cares; the world was a truly wonderful place then. After a very long time a huge number of shops we realized the unfortunate truth. The college bus has left without us!

It was a pretty good moment to freak out and since I am writing the story I am going to say I freaked out last but me and friends are yet to come to a conclusion on who freaked out first and both parties don’t seem to want to lose any bit of ground. So since I freaked out last it was rather a scary situation to be, we were in city none of us ever has been to and it was getting a bit dark too. So we called up someone on the phone who happened to get the bus and thanks to him we got to know that we were not the only ones to miss the bus and we also learned that the bus is somewhere far and would be coming back for us in about half an hour, Hweeee talk about a relief. So relieved and happy with an extra half an hour of shopping left we started making our return trip to the boarding point and guess what, there was our bus standing there at our boarding point. We were about a couple hundred meters away from the bus.

We started running all together towards the bus furious at the idiot who misled us and believe it or not just then the stupid bus started moving. Then it happened in the heat of the moment without another thought I took her hands and started running towards the bus. In a few hazy steps I realized what I did and I dropped her hand and I stopped. I looked at her eyes and she was just staring at me, amidst all the yelling and screaming from my ‘lovely and civil’ friends we stood there for a few moments. These are the kind of moments where we go for the kiss in Hollywood style movies but all she did was smile and I was a bit shy to kiss her then with all those guys staring at us.

Oh! By the way we did lose this bus and another bus had to come get us, and all my friends were kind of happy we missed it then. But one thing is for sure amongst all the adventures and the moments of closeness we shared in this trip including dining together many times then and getting to tie a necklace round her neck this is the moment I remember the trip by. It was the one moment that made all the difference in an otherwise coed relationship. Holding hands and falling in the abyss of love only come second to the magic of the moment with all the blurred up lights and kaleidoscopic boulevard of dreams.

We went on to be together all the time in the trip and still very much is happening around us, the magic of that moment may be special to that night but the love is so omniscient now that it’s a Bangalore trip every time I am with her and now… She is my girl and I her man, bounded by more than just a ring and thread.