Saturday, 19 November 2011

Now! That's a Birthday





19Th of November is no ordinary day, Its my other halves birthday. Its that one day a part of me was created by god and conceived upon this crooked world, so that she could be all that she is today. Yes! you guessed it I haven't made such a loving opening because of how much I love her ( I do love her greatly) but its because of how terrified of her I am. Don't worry you will come to know what I mean by theses conflicting worlds I drew up for you, trust me you will come to know her today.


She is real cute and real small, she got one packaging that can deceive even the cleverest of people I know. Oh! no! I am not telling this because I am hopelessly in love with her and she apparently in her own words will love me to death, but I am telling you this so close I am to her that I know what she is. I am a happy to be small 5ft 3in guy with a 1.5in heeled Woodland shoe ( By the way me and fried has still not agreed to the exact height of the heel, He claims it to be 2inch and I as always ridiculed it, after all which guy in the right sense wears a shoe 2inches right). But to the point again, she is almost just the same. She is smart, she is cute and she is real small. Oh by the way I forgot one thing she is  a psychopath( Please don't tell her what that means).  


Now that you have come to meet her, Let me tell about her birthday and why this is a wee bit special-er that the rest of the ones we had enjoyed together. Today was one hell of a roller coaster fiasco. No! I did not take her to the amusement park, But she did have her fair of fun and bruises. Let me remind you, you are to read the story of a very special individual and the author of this blog is a very sweet young fellow who is taking for your pleasure a very brave move by writing this article without her permission.But even before I can get into the details of the birthday I have to tell you about one more thing and then I promise we will go straight to the story, no more excuses. 


So the last thing before we begin is about a special ritual practiced by some very primitive people who live in thickly populated concrete jungles under the influence of I don't know what, It is called Birthday bumps. If you have not yet heard of birthday bumps, let me tell you this Oxford dictionary would have to define its as an act of physical torture and extortion practiced by insanely sadistic friends on a persons body on his birthday, in the pretext of loving and caring for that person, when in their minds all they want is actually to beat him up. No apparent date is associated with the origin of this strange cosmopolitan ritual but it would be the same everywhere to both the practioners and the practiced upons. A typical Birthday bumps ritual starts with the cliched cutting of cake and once it is finished cut the ritual starts with the ceremonial application of cake on the birthday boy/girls face and then the viewers set the things in motion by kicking and hitting and do god knows what on the body of this poor chap.


Now! just as promised let me get down to my dear ones birthday, Being a cheeky chocolaty lover, I called her up at midnight and had already placed her gifts in her friends safe hands for giving it to her at the precise time. And by the way this time I let my mom pick up a gift for her and that was highlight of her birthday gift from my side. So as I called up and I wished I was a bit early so through the conversation I could here her friends all sing the birthday song in unison and then she cut the phone and I left for the bed. So that's when the big things happened. I should tell you uptil her birthday it was not a custom in the girls hostel to have birthday bumps but my guess is that there are quite a few people who love just too much. So while I was out this si what happened, they all ritually bet her and took her up by her legs and hands and started swinging her 21 times and I heard they got tired by the time they reached 15 and they stopped soon enough. But here is were the twist is she had a small a change of heart and decided beat all those guys who bet her on the birthday. talk about keeping tabs.


She was on a rampage until some one got the brilliant idea to run and my unyielding girl friend decided not to give up that easily and tailed her. The tailing only ended when my girlfriends was lucky enough to trip on the wet floor before catching her friends and that very friend had to take her back to her room. These thing could get much notice from even her had she not been having a tight pinching sensation on her hands then onwards. But she didn't bother she called me up again on own routine 'got to call before falling asleep' calls and she told me of all her adventures and how she enjoyed her unique birthday and by the way for the record, she did like the cake, even though she practically had to eat out of her face.



And the things went on calmly till I could see her again in the morning in our class, She was beautiful as ever but certainly not 21, she could easily pass as a 12 year old but 21 that's not a easy visualization to be made. She came in with a swollen ankle and a very bad expression of pain in her face. So, anyhow she decided to go see the doctor and I should thank my friend for popping that to her. Anyhow there she was gone again. Now this sis the better part, she went all the way to the doctor with the girl whom she was chasing around yesterday night. The doctor was quite a happy folk or may be was in a very nice mood that he was so happy to see her. Anyhow its not everyday that a birthday girl pops in with two ankles completely swollen like a pumpkin. The couple of hours she spend with doctor was so cool that at the end of the day she managed out with a free treatment, a free x-ray scan and a book signed by him as a birthday gift. He even said that had she managed to do more of some acrobatics, he could be happy to give her a bed in the hospital.


Now that's all that went bad if you do not consider the long lecture hours that we had to endure, five hours in length it was boring, really boring. But then again its her day and her birthday went in as unique as ever. I have got gifts on my birthday, I have got cards but treatment as a gift, she really nailed me to that. Anyhow I wish her a happy birthday and just if she doesn't know I wanted to say I do really love her. So Happy Birthday dear.