Its all about Love

Hasn't it always been about love? Wonder what I am taking about? I am taking about marriages. India is a confusing country for a marriage to exist, to one side we have lots of customs and the rich cultural vibrancy that at this epitome of ethnic diversity throws about and to the other we have the largely commercialized and institutionalized gala called a marriage. Somewhere along the way I start wondering what really is a marriage about? Is it about two people in love uniting or is it just something done because everybody else seems to be doing and is it just at the primeval end a means to keep ones clan running.

The one word that describes the ‘wedding’ industry could be magnanimous; the elusive and lucrative industry has stripped Indian marriages off its essentialities and replaced them with material substitutes that corrode an institution that has long been considered scared. The sanctity of the marriage has been long lost; it has been violated and prostituted. But what surprises me the most is how people could be so blinded that they could for go what is essential and indispensible in a marriage, Love.

History is the witness when it comes to marriages in India. History bears witness to the freedom of choice and the simplicity of the great Indian weddings. Brides were respected and bridegrooms stood proud without a price tag.  What now appear to have become a largely commercialized and hyped up cultural gala and festival with much diminished  importance for the actual wedding was not always so. The advent of arranged marriages are not so clear to me but must probably they came from a group of controlling fathers eager to extend their family lineage and false prestiges.

It passes my mind how arranged marriages could ever succeed, it is incomprehensible to me how two people completely unknown, unaware of each other even to the slightest character could ever co-exist as such. At least isn’t that not a gamble? A leap of faith? Of course they succeed what choice does they have?  We live in a society that taken over by its totalitarian dystopia dictates terms and conditions on our existence. They expect us to obey and follow the crowd like buffaloes and those that dare to stand apart are either classified as philosophers or mad men. Then again I believe, this lack of choice and subjection is the one and only reason as to why such a marriage should exist, Like my friend so daringly terms it, A compromise!

Don’t for one second believe that I disagree with the fact that occasionally there comes a couple that are just perfect or so near to that place. What we call a real match made in heaven. But isn’t that just and odd chance a, a play of probabilities? Love marriages or as I call it a real marriage exists and stems from love the sole reason that appeals to me when committing to such a demeaning soc ial institution. Why else should one marry if not for love after all marriage is all about love!

An Invisible Man

What true is that all men are invisible, invisible like glass, so invisible that they are seldom seen and the funny thing is that unlike glass they themselves feel invisible. Everyman is lonely, everyman is alone, how much ever he surrounds himself with people, he becomes more and more invisible. How can he be alone is an interesting question, especially in this fast shrinking world, but the sad truth is the smaller the world gets the lonelier its inhabitants get. It’s certainly a paradox upon itself that in the growing crowd people find themselves the more isolated.

We are connected with a million people through all sorts of media, wired, not wired, perceivable and unperceivable alike. Tiny electronic chips plug you to a vast network of friends and family, acquaintances and what not. The virtual world of thriving socialization sees even people lacking in inter personal skills in real life make magnanimous groups in the virtual domain. But have you ever thought what you are worth without the internet. Has it ever occurred to you to sever away all virtual ties for a few hours, try it and see whether you are truly not alone. The networks have a very bad feature about it; it fills you with a false sense of reality. You chat and chat with your colleague on line but in real life you can’t even tell “hello” though you see here every hour of every day of your life.

I am not here to bash technology and it’s just taking me far away from what is it that I really what to tell. The only reason I introduced the internet and the telecoms is because I wanted to tell you the virtual life is not the real life. The moment you are free from all these amenities you find yourself alone in the world. It’s certainly no generalization but the sad fact that rules most of our lives.

There are two kinds of loneliness in the world or I think so. One is the loneliness that persists because there is no one to be with you ever, because no one loves you are likes you. Now this is a sad state to be and the vast majority of us never fall in this category. The other the more general state of loneliness that you and I are so easily susceptible to is the state of loneliness that arise from the fact that though there exist a crowd of people who loves you they are just not there right now. This loneliness is always in the now. The moment you are alone it creeps in. Though you have a dozen friends, now seems to think about you then, no one calls no one enquires and then the minds starts playing sinister tricks on itself.

There is a goodness to this feeling of loneliness, it shows you what you want, what you can have and most importantly what is it that you already have. You would only miss what you already had, isn’t it? The truth is that no one is really invisible in this world, everyone is visible. It only happens that you are in a company of souls that can’t see you. I know I have half contradicted myself, but the truth is that no one is invisible, it’s just happens that no one is looking is looking right now. That is not the same as being invisible, Is it?